A Tribute to the Heart Horse

Something magical happens when you fall in love with a horse. It feels as though, suddenly, a piece of your soul exists outside of your body. This horse becomes a part of you, indefinitely tied together. A "heart horse" they call it.

Heart horses are sent to us to provide us with the comfort of unconditional love, the lessons of patience, and the feeling of connection and deep gratitude. You feel like the luckiest human in the world to be graced with such a wonderful gift. Your horse feels the same.

For as long as your heart horse is in their physical body, many of your actions will be dictated by what serves their best interest. You'll be hiking across a 3-acre field with 2 feet of snow to get to the one tree he's standing under to insure he's warm enough. You'll get out of bed at 2AM to go outside and check on him because you "have a feeling" you need to look. Others in your life will question your sanity, but you'll never question your own for one second. Because he is yours, and you are his.

The lessons he teaches you will often test your patience and your bravery. He’ll put things before you that ask you to look at parts of yourself you prefer to keep hidden from the world. But without fail, every time, he’ll love you even when you struggle to love yourself. He’ll stand behind you no matter what you’re facing so that you two can face it together. It’s an unspoken bond that transcends all other things. It’s something that only exists between horses and humans, this mystical partnership that defies all logic.

And when the day comes that your heart horse must leave his body, you’ll give him the gift of unconditional love. And he will feel like the luckiest horse in the world to be graced with such a wonderful gift. For a while, you’ll feel his absence everywhere. You’ll worry a piece of your soul will never return to your body. You’ll search desperately for his presence, terrified that you’ll never feel that connection again.

But in time, as the grief begins to settle, you’ll start to see and feel him in the most beautiful ways. And you’ll realize that he never really left. Because your heart horse lives within your heart and all around you. He’ll suddenly be closer than he ever was. He’ll stand behind you no matter what you’re facing so that you two can face it together. Because it’s an unspoken bond that transcends all other things. And this thing that exists between humans and horses? It’s a mystical partnership that defies all logic.

Something magical happens when you fall in love with a horse. And once you do, you’ll never go back to the way you were before.

A Big & Beautiful #LessonFromTheHorse

A big #LessonFromtheHorse came to me yesterday morning. I was inside doing some paperwork when Ollie popped into my mind. I acknowledged him as I always do when a horse checks in with me from afar, and continued on my task. But he was persistent. He kept asking me to come out and get him. He had something for me. So I set down what I was doing and headed outside.

I sat down in the round pen with him with my notebook and meditated a few moments, and the following is what came from my pen as he stood above me. I wasn't going to share, but as I re-read through it this morning, I realized how powerful it is, and how relatable it seems it can be. So, though a long one, I hope this #LessonFromTheHorse helps you, too. ❤️

"You're working so hard to get where you're going that you're missing what's in front of you, in each moment. Something beautiful happens every time you're with us, but if you keep being in a hurry, you'll miss it. You're going to get where you're meant to be, when you're meant to get there. No sooner, no later. Trust the timing.

You have everything you need. Because we will guide you. We will make you laugh when you need to. We will love you when you feel alone, and we will catch you if you happen to fall. We are a team. You must believe that.

Make sure you're feeling everything that you need to feel. Though your emotions are big and intense, they make you who you are and they're the reason you can help those who find their way to you. Feel big. Love big. Don't try to dampen anything. You're exactly how and who you need to be.

And it's okay to miss those who are gone. It's a tribute to how special they are and how big you loved them. Trust the process.

I will always love you. You've become everything you dreamed of being, but what you don't realize yet, is that you have so far to go. We'll be here every step of the way...just wait until you see what's in store.

Until then, find the patience to appreciate the beautiful moments. They're what makes it all worth it."

Developing True Interest

Before we can progress in our training with the horse, we must develop a sense of interest. 👈🏻

I used to work with horses in a very "traditional" way. I believed that the only way to get the horse to be interested in what I wanted him/her to do, was to get his respect by moving his feet, setting rigid and unchanging boundaries, and being the dominant "lead horse."

Guess what? It worked. My horses would watch me like a hawk 👀 No matter where I went, they'd turn to follow me with their eyes, watching me constantly. At the time, I was mistaken and believed this is because they were interested in what I was doing.

🚫 I was wrong. 🚫

They weren't interested, they were worried. They were watching me because I had proven to be more worrisome than anything else around. I was inherently unpredictable because at a moment's notice I would jump into a frenzy of moving their feet, ordering them through a series of "tests" and pushing them out of my space. So, naturally, they wanted to watch me because they had to be on their toes...wondering what command would come next.

When I discovered this new way of being with horses, I also found how difficult it can be to develop TRUE interest in the horse. If I didn't rely on domination or cookies/food, it became increasingly difficult to get the horse to want to interact with me just on the basis of it feeling good and us creating things together. So I went to work on MYSELF. I knew I had to find a way to help horses be interested in working with me.

What I found on this journey is that 90% of the time, the reason we were lacking interest is because of something inside of me. The horse needed to feel interest and presence from 👉🏻ME👈🏻 before I could expect them to do the same. This means that I have to be genuinely interested in getting to know who they are. Not for training purposes, not to figure out how to "get them to do stuff," but just a pure interest and desire to know their hearts, their minds, their souls.

The most magical thing happened when I made this shift...I started to see and discover things about the horse and about myself that I never would have found if I had just "put the horse to work." I found deeper levels of connection, I found intimacy, I found friendship. 💛

Now when I train, it just feels like I'm with a friend. Which makes life pretty dang magical. ✨

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Jess Roberts, owner and trainer of Harmonized Horsemanship, is a Colorado horse trainer and equine behaviorist based out of Franktown specializing in the horse and human connection. Through liberty horsemanship, positive reinforcement training, and respectful horsemanship, Jess creates a deeper connection that results in a willing and happy equine partner. Learn more about her approach here.

Softening in the Face of a Challenge

I used to come up against a challenge and immediately get defensive and resist. Whether it was a "difficult" horse, or a test in my life's journey, as soon as it got tough, I'd fight tooth and nail to "conquer the beast." 

It 👏 was 👏 exhausting.

Instead of channeling my energy into finding a harmonious solution, I wasted it all on a few different things:

1. Wondering WHY it was happening to me. "Why is this horse trying to fight with me today?" 😩 "Why do bad things keep happening to me and getting in my way?" 😩

2. Thinking of ways to MAKE SURE I didn't "fail." This kept me from trying ANYTHING, resulting in stagnation.

3. Getting ANGRY at myself, my horses, the world, etc. “I seriously can’t believe this is happening.” 😡
“Stupid horse! Why are you acting this way?” 😡

By the time I was done with all of that, I had no energy left to find a real solution, move forward, or do ANYTHING. 

I was lucky enough to come across some beautiful teachers (both human and horse) that helped me realize that resisting everything was what was causing so much upset in my life. So I shifted my approach. Walls became windows, locked doors became open. 🔑

Instead of resisting, now when I’m faced with a challenge I do 3 things:

I SOFTEN 🍃 I quiet the voices that spiral in negative self talk. I take a step back. I wait for inspiration. 

I WAIT ☮️ Patience is the key. Instead of searching for answers and a way around, I stand still in the moment I’m in. 

I LOVE 💛 I love myself, the horse in front of me, the challenge itself…for giving me an opportunity to grow, to shift, and to discover. 

It’s changed my life. It’s changed my horse’s lives. It’s changed everything. 

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Jess Roberts, owner and trainer of Harmonized Horsemanship, is a Colorado horse trainer and equine behaviorist based out of Franktown specializing in the horse and human connection. Through liberty horsemanship, positive reinforcement training, and respectful horsemanship, Jess creates a deeper connection that results in a willing and happy equine partner. Learn more about her approach here.

Gratitude of an Equine Professional

In the last 365 days, a lot has changed. A year ago, I was in Illinois, spending Thanksgiving with my ex and his family, trying to fit myself into a mold and a life that I thought would be safe, reliable and somewhat “easy.” I was also working full-time at a marketing company, determined to make myself work a “real” job to ensure monetary security for my lifetime. See, I believed that if I checked off the boxes of what is supposedly the “American Dream,” I’d find peace and comfort. I truly thought I could convince myself over time that horses were just a hobby, and that the longing in my heart to return to the world of horse training would simply just go away.

Spoiler Alert: It didn’t.

In the beginning of 2019, I was still reeling every day in the grief of losing my first horse. My heart hurt more than I ever believed would be possible. Yet, losing him woke me up. It made me realize a couple of things:

1. Life is short, and nothing is guaranteed
2. No amount of time will make any feelings or thoughts just go away, if they are ingrained into your heart and your soul.

And so I decided to make some changes.

I walked away from the safe, reliable and easy life I had set myself up in. I quit my marketing job. I broke up with my ex. I got myself a lease on an equestrian facility in Franktown, Colorado. Almost instantly, I was happier than I’d been since Eli died.

Fast forward to now.

I had no idea how hard it would be, building an equine business, fixing up and maintaining a barn, filling it with horses. I knew it’d be hard, don’t get me wrong. But I had no idea how time-consuming, utterly exhausting and seemingly impossible my days would be.

I also had no idea how overwhelmingly fulfilling it would be…

I had no idea how my heart would literally double in size every morning at 5AM when I walk outside and see 15+ pairs of eyes looking at me…how my life would go from safe, reliable and predictable to risky, spontaneous and ever-changing. I had no idea how beautiful life could truly be.

My business is thriving, this property is filled with happy, safe and respected horses. I’m surrounded by some of the best people I could have ever imagined, doing what I love every single minute of the day. To put it simply…. life is good.

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And now, to those who have helped me get here:

To Grandma: Thank you for the countless hours you put in here when I first took it over. Thank you for scooping poop, for scrubbing bathrooms, for showing up every day with a smile. Thank you now for your patience and love and support while I work so many hours a week, even when it means we don’t see each other or talk as much as we’d like.

To Jacque: Thank you for being my go-to anytime something broke in the beginning. For bringing me heavy equipment, for making huge issues seem small and manageable. Thank you for dropping everything countless times to arrive and help me put things back together. Not only are you one of the best clients I could ask for, you’re an amazing friend. (And you can do pretty much anything with a tractor 😉)

To Gina: Thank you for meeting me and instantly believing in me and my vision more than I did myself. You knew nothing about me, yet you signed on immediately to go on this insane journey with me. The support and love that you, your family and your horses have given me since day one have changed my life in the most unbelievable ways. Here’s to instant supporters becoming lifelong friends…

To Katie: Thank you for jumping right back into this crazy horse world with me, for being my sounding board, a shoulder to cry on, and the best dang organizer in the world. My life, and my horse’s lives, would not be as fun or fulfilling without the love and the joy you bring into our world.

To my phenomenal clients: Thank you for believing in me and what I do, for trusting me with your horses, for showing up to lessons with open minds and vulnerable hearts. You make what I do so fun, rewarding and indescribable. It’s not always easy to do things with horses the way we do things with horses, and for that I commend you.

To my family and friends who never see me: Thank you for loving me anyway. For understanding that building this business and running this facility has become my life for the foreseeable future. Thank you for forgiving me countless times when I bail on plans last minute, when I “can’t make it because I have to feed,” or when I’m too tired to leave the house. One day, I will be able to repay you for the love, support and patience you’ve given me. Until then, know that I would never have been brave enough to do any of this without you.

And to Kadin: To the one who can take a chain and a tractor and literally do anything. I would not be able to do anything I’m doing right now without you. Thank you for believing in your aunt’s crazy horse friend and jumping right in, for moving to Franktown, for taking care of everything day-in and day-out, and for being my best friend. Your dedication to this place and these animals is unwavering, and the love you have for all of it is always apparent. Shoveling 17 horses’ worth of manure in 10º temperatures is back-breaking, tiring and often thankless work, but you do it with a smile. No words will ever be able to describe how much you do for me and for this barn, but even when I’m grumpy, exhausted and losing my mind, never doubt the gratitude I have for you.

But most of all, to the horses: Thank you. You’ve been there all along. You gave this horse-crazy girl the opportunity to live her dream, and for that, I’ll be eternally grateful. Your love for yourselves, for life, and for the simple things makes me a better human every single day. I can truly say I’d be lost without all of you. Whether you come into my life for 30 days of training, or you stay for your lifetime, you’ve got a friend and an advocate in me for life.

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It’s crazy how much can change in a year. So to anyone who feels stuck, unfulfilled, or lost in their current situation…keep going. A week, a month, a year from now, you may look back and realize how insanely far you’ve come. Keep your tribe small but mighty. Lean on people when you need help. But always, always, ALWAYS, follow the compass that is your heart. Trust that it knows exactly where you need to go. You don’t need to win the lottery to hit the jackpot in life. Dreams come true when you least expect it.

Happy Thanksgiving, Everybody.