Softening in the Face of a Challenge
I used to come up against a challenge and immediately get defensive and resist. Whether it was a "difficult" horse, or a test in my life's journey, as soon as it got tough, I'd fight tooth and nail to "conquer the beast."
It 👏 was 👏 exhausting.
Instead of channeling my energy into finding a harmonious solution, I wasted it all on a few different things:
1. Wondering WHY it was happening to me. "Why is this horse trying to fight with me today?" 😩 "Why do bad things keep happening to me and getting in my way?" 😩
2. Thinking of ways to MAKE SURE I didn't "fail." This kept me from trying ANYTHING, resulting in stagnation.
3. Getting ANGRY at myself, my horses, the world, etc. “I seriously can’t believe this is happening.” 😡
“Stupid horse! Why are you acting this way?” 😡
By the time I was done with all of that, I had no energy left to find a real solution, move forward, or do ANYTHING.
I was lucky enough to come across some beautiful teachers (both human and horse) that helped me realize that resisting everything was what was causing so much upset in my life. So I shifted my approach. Walls became windows, locked doors became open. 🔑
Instead of resisting, now when I’m faced with a challenge I do 3 things:
I SOFTEN 🍃 I quiet the voices that spiral in negative self talk. I take a step back. I wait for inspiration.
I WAIT ☮️ Patience is the key. Instead of searching for answers and a way around, I stand still in the moment I’m in.
I LOVE 💛 I love myself, the horse in front of me, the challenge itself…for giving me an opportunity to grow, to shift, and to discover.
It’s changed my life. It’s changed my horse’s lives. It’s changed everything.
Jess Roberts, owner and trainer of Harmonized Horsemanship, is a Colorado horse trainer and equine behaviorist based out of Franktown specializing in the horse and human connection. Through liberty horsemanship, positive reinforcement training, and respectful horsemanship, Jess creates a deeper connection that results in a willing and happy equine partner. Learn more about her approach here.