Gratitude of an Equine Professional
In the last 365 days, a lot has changed. A year ago, I was in Illinois, spending Thanksgiving with my ex and his family, trying to fit myself into a mold and a life that I thought would be safe, reliable and somewhat “easy.” I was also working full-time at a marketing company, determined to make myself work a “real” job to ensure monetary security for my lifetime. See, I believed that if I checked off the boxes of what is supposedly the “American Dream,” I’d find peace and comfort. I truly thought I could convince myself over time that horses were just a hobby, and that the longing in my heart to return to the world of horse training would simply just go away.
Spoiler Alert: It didn’t.
In the beginning of 2019, I was still reeling every day in the grief of losing my first horse. My heart hurt more than I ever believed would be possible. Yet, losing him woke me up. It made me realize a couple of things:
1. Life is short, and nothing is guaranteed
2. No amount of time will make any feelings or thoughts just go away, if they are ingrained into your heart and your soul.
And so I decided to make some changes.
I walked away from the safe, reliable and easy life I had set myself up in. I quit my marketing job. I broke up with my ex. I got myself a lease on an equestrian facility in Franktown, Colorado. Almost instantly, I was happier than I’d been since Eli died.
Fast forward to now.
I had no idea how hard it would be, building an equine business, fixing up and maintaining a barn, filling it with horses. I knew it’d be hard, don’t get me wrong. But I had no idea how time-consuming, utterly exhausting and seemingly impossible my days would be.
I also had no idea how overwhelmingly fulfilling it would be…
I had no idea how my heart would literally double in size every morning at 5AM when I walk outside and see 15+ pairs of eyes looking at me…how my life would go from safe, reliable and predictable to risky, spontaneous and ever-changing. I had no idea how beautiful life could truly be.
My business is thriving, this property is filled with happy, safe and respected horses. I’m surrounded by some of the best people I could have ever imagined, doing what I love every single minute of the day. To put it simply…. life is good.
And now, to those who have helped me get here:
To Grandma: Thank you for the countless hours you put in here when I first took it over. Thank you for scooping poop, for scrubbing bathrooms, for showing up every day with a smile. Thank you now for your patience and love and support while I work so many hours a week, even when it means we don’t see each other or talk as much as we’d like.
To Jacque: Thank you for being my go-to anytime something broke in the beginning. For bringing me heavy equipment, for making huge issues seem small and manageable. Thank you for dropping everything countless times to arrive and help me put things back together. Not only are you one of the best clients I could ask for, you’re an amazing friend. (And you can do pretty much anything with a tractor 😉)
To Gina: Thank you for meeting me and instantly believing in me and my vision more than I did myself. You knew nothing about me, yet you signed on immediately to go on this insane journey with me. The support and love that you, your family and your horses have given me since day one have changed my life in the most unbelievable ways. Here’s to instant supporters becoming lifelong friends…
To Katie: Thank you for jumping right back into this crazy horse world with me, for being my sounding board, a shoulder to cry on, and the best dang organizer in the world. My life, and my horse’s lives, would not be as fun or fulfilling without the love and the joy you bring into our world.
To my phenomenal clients: Thank you for believing in me and what I do, for trusting me with your horses, for showing up to lessons with open minds and vulnerable hearts. You make what I do so fun, rewarding and indescribable. It’s not always easy to do things with horses the way we do things with horses, and for that I commend you.
To my family and friends who never see me: Thank you for loving me anyway. For understanding that building this business and running this facility has become my life for the foreseeable future. Thank you for forgiving me countless times when I bail on plans last minute, when I “can’t make it because I have to feed,” or when I’m too tired to leave the house. One day, I will be able to repay you for the love, support and patience you’ve given me. Until then, know that I would never have been brave enough to do any of this without you.
And to Kadin: To the one who can take a chain and a tractor and literally do anything. I would not be able to do anything I’m doing right now without you. Thank you for believing in your aunt’s crazy horse friend and jumping right in, for moving to Franktown, for taking care of everything day-in and day-out, and for being my best friend. Your dedication to this place and these animals is unwavering, and the love you have for all of it is always apparent. Shoveling 17 horses’ worth of manure in 10º temperatures is back-breaking, tiring and often thankless work, but you do it with a smile. No words will ever be able to describe how much you do for me and for this barn, but even when I’m grumpy, exhausted and losing my mind, never doubt the gratitude I have for you.
But most of all, to the horses: Thank you. You’ve been there all along. You gave this horse-crazy girl the opportunity to live her dream, and for that, I’ll be eternally grateful. Your love for yourselves, for life, and for the simple things makes me a better human every single day. I can truly say I’d be lost without all of you. Whether you come into my life for 30 days of training, or you stay for your lifetime, you’ve got a friend and an advocate in me for life.
It’s crazy how much can change in a year. So to anyone who feels stuck, unfulfilled, or lost in their current situation…keep going. A week, a month, a year from now, you may look back and realize how insanely far you’ve come. Keep your tribe small but mighty. Lean on people when you need help. But always, always, ALWAYS, follow the compass that is your heart. Trust that it knows exactly where you need to go. You don’t need to win the lottery to hit the jackpot in life. Dreams come true when you least expect it.
Happy Thanksgiving, Everybody.